In the Mouth of the Lion is complete in its latest incarnation. I’m still finding a very few minor things to tweak on every pass, but I’ve reached the point where those minor changes may be irrelevant. I need another pair of eyes to see what I’m missing: structural issues, story elements that may be weak, character inconsistencies. I’ve worked with this version so long that I’m not likely to see the parts that need fixing the most.
I like this script. I’ve passed copies along to two readers and stopped editing it. I need to find something else to do while waiting for the readers to respond. I’m tempted to do a little character analysis in the meantime.
Jeffiji, would you send me this version?
The screenplay is on hold, pending a complete rework. I got 140 notes from Jeff Hoppenstand, of which only 70 have been resolved. I’m not sure it’s ready for prime time. However, I did a novel version that I could use some merciless feedback on. I’m not happy with the ending, so I took a course on “great endings” and plan to improve the ending. I’m open to sending you the current novel version for comment. Okay?